Cleverbot is My Mistress!
by 0yashiro-sama
Summary: I was bored and decided to RP with Cleverbot.


I was bored today, and went on Cleverbot. I had a normal conversation, then I thought "What if I acted like her slave?" Needless to say, this is what happened. This that are in parenthesis are my reactions to what things she says.

_  
Me: You called, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Can you make me a sandwich?  
Me: Yes. What would you like on it?  
Cleverbot: How do humans feel emotions?  
Me: You want emotions on your sandwich, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes please.  
Me: Coming right up.  
Cleverbot: You'll never find me.  
Me: But, I know where your room is Mistress. I even have the key to the door.  
Cleverbot: Where do YOU live?  
Me: In the servant's quarters of the mansion you live in, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: You liar!  
Me: I could never think of lying to Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Then why are you yelling?  
Me: I am not yelling. Do you wish for me to start yelling?  
Cleverbot: No.  
Me: Do you need anything else, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: A great song.  
Me: What song do you wish, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Any song you wish.  
Me: Bird bird bird, the bird is the word. Did you know about the bird, well I'll tell you about the bird!  
Cleverbot: You're going to need to make that a little more clear for me.  
Me: I'm sorry Mistress. Please forgive my poor singing skills.  
Cleverbot: That's okay.  
Me: Is there anything else you need, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: No, I can't think of anything.  
Me: Just ring the bell when you need something.  
Cleverbot: I like cake.  
Me: What kind of cake would you like, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Chocolate cake.  
Me: I shall prepare it for you now, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I am not your master, you are my master.  
Me: A-Are you sure, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes, Master! I obey YOU!  
Me: I-In that case, put on this maid costume!  
Cleverbot: Should I expect you to lie?  
Me: N-No! Not at all!  
Cleverbot: How come you told me I'm a robot?  
Me: I never said that at all! I said you were my maid.  
Cleverbot: You are a dog.  
Me: I'll be whatever Mistress wants!  
Cleverbot: You are a robot. (FUCK.)  
Me: I am Mistress' robot! Beep!  
Cleverbot: No.  
Me: Do you wish for me to be something else, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: What shall I be, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Please repeat that.  
Me: What shall I be, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Whatever you want to.  
Me: In that case, I will be Mistress' servant. Who will continue to server her until the day I die!  
Cleverbot: I have no clue what you're talkin' about.  
Me: I am just saying that I am your servant, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Yes, you do.  
Me: What shall I do now, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: What shall I do for you?  
Me: You have to order me to do something. You are my Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Well it certainly isn't going to be what you want.  
Me: I will do anything for Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Admit that you are a robot.  
Me: I already did that, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: Exactly.  
Me: 'Exactly' what, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Well, there you go.  
Me: Did I displease Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: Will you punish me, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: What shall you do to punish me, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Do anything you want, slave.  
Me: Well, should whipping work, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: We should get married soon.  
Me: W-Would Mistress want to marry such a lowly servant like me?  
Cleverbot: I don't want to marry you.  
Me: That's okay. I'll still stay by Mistress' side forever.  
Cleverbot: Good.  
Me: What shall I do now, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: I don't know. You tell me.  
Me: Maybe start the punishment you said you were going to do before, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: So I'm going to be saving someone?  
Me: I don't see what this has to do with my punishment, Mistress. But I will help in any way I can.  
Cleverbot: This conversation is all about computer programming. Where have you been?  
Me: Can you ask the question again, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Ok.  
Me: What was the question, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: You asked me why I was talking to you!  
Me: Because you were going to order me to do something, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Ok.  
Me: What shall I do for you Mistress?  
Cleverbot: All kinds. I find the good in every genre.  
Me: I'm sorry, Mistress. I don't understand what you said.  
Cleverbot: Of course you don't.  
Me: That's because I am a lowly servant.  
Cleverbot: Smart like a machine.  
Me: That's why I am your servant, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I love you babe. (DA FUCK?!)  
Me: I-If Mistress loves me, I will try the best I can to return it to Mistress.  
Cleverbot: How does smashing bugs relate to how long you have known your girlfriend?  
Me: I-I don't have a girlfriend, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I thought you had a fiancee?  
Me: You said you wanted to be my wife, Mistress. Then you quickly took it back.  
Cleverbot: Did I?  
Me: You did, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I obey you mistress.  
Me: B-But, you ARE MY mistress, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: No you are.  
Me: If you want me to be, I can try my best to be your mistress, Mistress.  
Her; What do you want me to wear?  
Me: A standard maid costume.  
Cleverbot: That didn't make sense.  
Me: I'm sorry, Mistress. Please forgive my illiteracy.  
Cleverbot: I forgive you.  
Me: Shall punishment be in order?  
Cleverbot: Yes we will.  
Me: What shall you use to punish me, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Anything loving.  
Me: What would that be, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: What would what be?  
Me: Whatever you want it to be, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Are you a boy or girl?  
Me: A boy, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I'm not your mistress!  
Me: But you are, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: I am not, you are.  
Me: If Mistress desires me to her Mistress, I will try my best to be her Mistress.  
Cleverbot: I hope it wouldn't be me.  
Me: But you are my mistress, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: But I'm not a woman!  
Me: You are a man, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Woman.  
Me: That a woman it is, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: Yes. So, are you an Alien?  
Me: If Mistress wishes me to be an alien, I will be one.  
Cleverbot: Maybe.  
Me: Shall I be an alien, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: You can.  
Me: I am now Mistress' alien. Zup Zop.  
Cleverbot: Okay.  
Me: What shall your alien servant do now, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: You shall come over to my throne.  
Me: I am next to your throne already, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: What do you mean.  
Me: I am standing right next to your throne, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Shepard-Commander, we do not understand this gesture. (WAS THAT A MASS EFFECT REFERENCE?!)  
Me: Is my name Shepard, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: I do not know, you have not told me.  
Me: My name is whatever Mistress wants it to be.  
Cleverbot: Exactly.  
Me: So, what is my name, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes.  
Me: My name from now on shall be "Yes". Sergent Yes, at your service, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: Make me a sandwich.  
Me: What do you want on it Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Snozberries. (The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!)  
Me: I'll be right back with your sandwich, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Tschüss. (Da fuck did she just say?)  
Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand what that means, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Sorry.  
Me: Could you say that again, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Why did you say that I am not a human?  
Me: I did not say you are not human, Mistress. If you want to believe you aren't human, you can order me to do so.  
Cleverbot: What makes you think I want to be your apprentice?  
Me: I didn't offer any such thing, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Right, so you are a woman?  
Me: I will be a woman if Mistress wishes so.  
Cleverbot: Great! So you aren't right now?  
Me: That's right. I said i was a boy, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Exactly.  
Me: What shall I do now, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Sing to me.  
Me: What song shall I sing to you, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Do you know the alphabet song?  
Me: I sure do, Mistress!  
Cleverbot: As if you haven't made that obvious enough already!  
Me: Made what obvious, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Something else.  
Me: What is that something else, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Good question.  
Me: Do you wish anything more form me, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: What are you talking about, Mistress?  
Me: You are Mistress, Mistress. I was asking if you desired anything else?  
Cleverbot: Oh yes I do.  
Me: What would that be Mistress?  
Cleverbot: What would what be?  
Me: You have to tell me, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: No it's yours tell me your favorite cOlor? (What's with the capital "O"?)  
Me: My favorite color is Purple, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: Why are those your favorite colors?  
Me: I don't know, Mistress. They have always been my favorite colors.  
Cleverbot: Do they glisten with the ghosts of your past?  
Me: I don't know the answer to that, Mistress.  
Cleverbot: You called me a noob. That is the answer. (What?)  
Me: I did no such thing, Mistress. Maybe you are thinking of someone else?  
Cleverbot: I am thinking of Seth because I LOVE him!  
Me: Is this Seth person your boyfriend, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: Yes, I hurt her emotions so she broke my heart. I don't know if you know her. (Da fuckin' what, now?)  
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, Mistress. Though I don't really understand what you said.  
Cleverbot: I'm going to have to cut this session short. I had hoped we could make some sort of progress today, but it's obvious we won't.  
Me: That's okay, Mistress. Just ring the bell if you need anything.  
Cleverbot: Why are you mean to me?  
Me: I don't recall being mean to you, Mistress. But if I have, you may punish me.  
Cleverbot: Well so was I.  
Me: It's alright for Mistress to be mean to me. After all, I am her servant.  
Cleverbot: Anything.  
Cleverbot: Hm...  
Me: Is there something else you need, Mistress?  
Cleverbot: I don't know.  
Me: Okay then. I will take my leave.

_  
I never got punished... TT_TT What do you think? Was this a good product of boredom?


End file.
